NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 




SCENES IN THE UNION 
DEPOT 




Qii tr-Jr^ LZJiuir - i^^^^HF'~irri 



••PYRISHT, IMt. BY WALTER H. BAKM 4 






THE AMAZONS •^*^°® ^ Tliree Acts. Seven males, dve lemaies. 
Gostiunes, modem ; scenery, not difficult. Plays 
a full evening. 

THE CABINET MINISTER ^^^^^^^^^o^^^-^-c'S' Tenmaies,mne 
females. Costumes, modem society? 
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

DANDY DICK ■^*'^*'® "* Three Acts. Seven males, four temaies. 
Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. PlayE 
two hours and a half. 

THE GAY LORD ODEX Comedy in Four Acts. Four males ten 
V females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 

two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

HIS HOUSE IN ORDER C<>°i^<^y^^<'i^-^<2t^- Nine males, fonf 

*\ « females. Costumes, modern ; scenery^ 
three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE HOBBY HORSE ^°^^^y ^ Three Acts. Ten males, five 
females. Costumes, modern; scenery easy. 
Plays two hours and a, half. 

IRIS ^rama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
modem ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

LADY BODNTIFDL ^^^^ ^ ^^^" ■^*'*®* •^''Sht males, seven fe- 
males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four in- 
teriors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 

LFTTY ■'^'^*™* *^ Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five fe- 
^ males. Costumes, modem ; scenery complicated. Plays a 

full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

wmzt 1$. 'Bafeer 6i Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



Scenes in the Union Depot 



A Humorous Entertainment in One Scene 



By LAURA M. PARSONS 

Author of*' The Old Maia's Convention,^' " Aunt Jeru- 
sha's Quilting Party," " The New Woman's Reform 
Club" *' A Variety Contest" " Jerusha Doze's Family 
Album," " District School at Blueberry Corners," etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO 



Scenes in the Union Depot . 

rA 

CHARACTERS dL W j\\ 

Ticket Agent. -^ y^ % 

Depot Master., ^^%- 

Man at Lunch and Candy Stand. • y\ ^ 

Bootblack. » k 

Mrs. Snyder and daughter Miranda. 

Mrs. Larkin. 

Miss Sophia Piper. 

Mr. Jones. 

Woman and Baby. 

Uncle John. 

JosiAH Poiter and wife Nancy= 

Mr. Armstrong and five small children. 

Three Schoolgirls (Dot, Bess and Trix). 

Dude. 

Mrs. Amelia Hummer. 

Two Italian Musicians. 

Mr. and Mrs. Martindale. 

Bride and Groom. • 

Two Young Ladies (Rosy and Molly). 

Two Young Men (Rob and Dick). 

Cassy and Jupiter, and Father. 

College Quartette. 

Lily, Eliza, George, and Mr. White {colored'). 

Harold and Flossie {elopers). 

Mr. and Mrs. Linton {Flossie's parents'). 




Copyright, 1905, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



DIRECTIONS 

To imitate sounds of trains, tack two pieces of coarse sand- 
paper on boards and rub together to make sound of escaping 
steam. Ring large bell and shake walnuts, or something sim- 
ilar, in a barrel. The sound of car wheels over switches may- 
be made by successive jars of a window-sash. In imitating 
sounds of departing trains a snare drum may also be used. 

Stage set in imitation of a railway station. Window for 
ticket agent ; candy and lunch stand ; railroad maps on wall ; 
seats or benches as near like those found in depots as can be 
procured. Such are often found in shoe stores. One row 
should be near the front for important characters. One door 
at left rear for outgoing and one at right rear for incoming 
passengers. Door at side for street entrance. 

Note. — In several instances one person may take two parts, 
thus lessening the total number of people required. 

A few passengers who have no special part come and go, 
buy tickets, and patronize the lunch stand. 



Scenes in the Union Depot 



SCENE. — Union Depot waiiing room. Curtain rises show- 
ing two men asleep, a Bohemia?i woman with large basket, 
Mrs. Brown and Johnny, and Ticket Agent at his win- 
dow. 

Mrs. Brown {shaking Johnny). Wake up, Johnny, it's 
'most time for the train. The ticket agent says it'll be here in 
just ten minutes. (Johnny rubs his eyes, yawns, and falls 
asleep again while his mother ope7is a lunch box and takes out 
a large, thick slice of bread and butter. Mrs. Brown shakes 
Johnny again.) Wake up, Johnny, and eat your breakfast. 
(Johnny takes a large bite and drops asleep. Mrs. Brown 
wakes him agaifi and makes him eat, and drink milk from a 
bottle until the sound of an arriving train is heard.) Hurry 
up — drink faster — the train's coming. 

Johnny (with mouth full of food'). I don't want any more. 

Mrs. B. Well then, hang on to the bottle and come on. 

(Depot Master calls train. Mrs. B. hastily picks up 
bundles and exits at left rear, leading Johnny by the 
hand. Passengers from incoming train enter at right 
rear. Among thetn are Mrs. Larkin, Mr. Jones, Miss 

* Piper, Mrs. Snyder a^td Miranda. Bootblack carries 
grip for Mr. Jones.) 

Mrs. Larkin (to Agent). When does the next train leave 
for Coffinbury? 

Ticket Agent. Four o'clock, madam. 

Mrs. L. Four o'clock ! Eight hours to wait ! Guess I'll 
have a chance to get acquainted with quite a few folks in that 
time. {Buys ticket a?id takes seat. Mr. Jones also buys 
ticket.) \ 

Bootblack {to Mr. Jones). Shine, mister? (Mr. Jones 
nods assent.) 



6 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

Mrs. Snyder {after piling bundles and baskets oti seat and 
floor). Land sakes, Mirandy, go right back and get my um- 
brelly. I've left it on the cars. 

Miranda. Why, Ma Snyder, you tied it on to ye. 

Mrs. S. Laws a me, so I did and here it is. Hang 
on to that hand-bag, Mirandy, I couldn't get along without 
them pills that's in it no way. {Looking around.') I don't 
see your Uncle John nowhere. He said he'd meet us. {To 
Agent.) Have you seen a man 'round here lookin' for me 
and Mirandy? 

Agent. No, madam. , 

Bootblack. I guess I seen him. Did he have a wart on 
the end of his nose and a big black mole on the left cheek? 

Mrs. S. {indignantly). Keep still, you young urchin, you 
don't need to tell everybody 'bout it. It ain't nothin' 'gainst 
a body to have moles and warts. {Enter Uncle John at 
street entrance looking about.) There's Uncle John now. 
Here we be, John. {They meet, shake hands, and kiss.) 
How's Emmeline? 

Uncle John. She's fine, as you will soon have a chance to 
see. Have you any luggage? 

Mrs. S. Luggage ! Well I should say so. This satchel 
and bandbox is ourn, and so is this pail of pie-plant jam, and 
this basket of head cheese and pickled pigs' feet. (Miranda 
drops a basket.) 

Miranda. Oh, my ! What's in this basket? 

Mrs. S. Why, Mirand}^, it's them eggs we's taking to 
Emmeline, {Peeks in basket. ) You've broke ev'ry last one 
of 'em, so you have. I packed 'em in your green silk waist so's 
to protect 'em. 

Miranda {whining). Why, Ma Snyder ! Now I can't go 
to Cousin Maria's party. 

Uncle John. Don't worry, your Aunt 'Lizbeth'll fix you up. 
Is this all, Susan ? 

Mrs. S. {looking around). I left home with an umbrelly, 
but the land knows where 'tis now. 

Miranda. Why ma, you tied it 

Mrs. S. Oh, yes, yes, yes. It's most as much bother to tie 
it to ye as it is to carry it in your hand. But I hain't lost it yet 
anyhow. There's another basket, Mirandy. What's become 
of it? 

Miranda. What was in it ? 

Mrs. S. Why, it was that old fightm' rooster we killed this 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 7 

mornin'. {To Mrs. L.) Excuse me, madam, but I believe 
this is the basket here by you. 

Mrs. L. {indignantly). Excuse me, madam, but it is not. 
This is my basket. 

Mrs. S. Well then, we must have left it on the cars. I'd 
ruther it would be that, though, than my umbrelly. {Picks up 
bundle.) I guess now we've got all that belongs to us. How 
glad I'll be to see Erameline. 

{Exeunt Uncle John, Mrs. S. ajid Miranda at sti^eet en- 
trance. At same entrance enters a woman in great haste 
carrying a baby. She looks quickly about and approaches 
Mr. Jones.) 

Woman. Oh, kind sir, won't you hold my baby while I go 
and find my little boy? He got away from me in the crowd. 

Mr. Jones. I couldn't think of it, madam. My train will 
be here in a very few minutes. 

Woman. Oh, but I'll be back in just a minute. I must 
find little Harry. 

(Puts baby into his arms and exits hastily. Mr. J. holds 
baby awkwardly, and nervously looks often at his watch.') 

Miss Piper {to Mr. J.). Is this your youngest ? 

Mr. J. N-no, it's the oldest. 

Miss P. Well, now, you don't mean to say there's another 
younger. Mebbe it's a twin. 

Mr. J. It's not a twin, madam, and there's no youngest or 
oldest about it. I think he wants you to hold him — I'm sure 
he does. Give your paddy to the lady, Willie, Billy, or what- 
ever your name is. 

Miss P. Oh, no, babies always cry when I take them. 
He'd rather stay with his papa, I know he would. Wouldn't 
you, baby? 

Mr. J. Madam, this is not my child. A woman forced it 
into my arms while she went to find her little boy. My train 
will be here in five minutes. I am on my way to be married 
and it will never do to take this child with me. Won't you 
have mercy on me and hold the child until its mother returns ? 

Miss P. But mebbe she won't return. 

Mr. J. But she will. (Depot Master calls train. Mr. J. 
rises and picks up grip.) Won't some one have pity on me 
and take this baby ? What would Molly think — what would 



8 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

her folks think ! Oh, I never was in such a pHght before. 
{To Miss P.) You must take him, madam, you must: 

{Puts child in her arms and rushes out. Sound of depart- 
ing train.') 

Miss P. Mercy on me ! What can I, a poor lone female, 
do with this baby if its mother never comes back. Some- 
body's always imposing on them that has no one to lean upon. 
What shall I do? 

Mrs. L. I guess all you can do is to set still and wait till 
the mother comes back. 

Enter Josiah and Nancy Potter at street entrance. 

Bootblack {to Josiah). Shine, mister? 

Josiah. Wall now, Bub {looking down at shoes'), ye don't 
think ye could do a better job'n that, do ye ? My friend's 
private bootblack fixed 'em up. We've been in the city two 
weeks visitin' some rich folks and my shoes have been shined like 
this ev'ry day. They won't need blackin' again fer a year. If 
you'd jest tackled me on the way in. Bub, you'd likely got a job. 

(Josiah and Nancy takes seats ; Miss P. carries baby 
around and nervously watches the doors.) 

Mrs. L. {to Nancy). So you've been visiting friends in the 
city, have ye ? 

Nancy. Yes, we took a sudden start one day and jest 
locked up the house and went. 

Mrs. L. What train be ye goin' to take ? 

Nancy. The ticket man said it would be goin' in half an 
hour. You see we believe in bein' on time. I'd ruther wait 
a whole hour than run up too near the time. 

Mrs. L. I s'pose ye see lots of sights and had lots of good 
things to eat. 

Josiah. Wall, as fur as the eatin's consarned I shall be glad 
to get back home and set down to a bowl of puddin' and milk. 
I don't think them Welsh rabbits are any better'n the common 
kind that run back of our barn. As fer eatin' soup with a fork, 
I jest couldn't do it. Ye see Nancy kept at me all the way in 
'bout eatin' with my fork, so I s'posed I'd got to eat ev'rything 
with it — soup and all. Another time- 

Nancy. Oh, say, Josiah, did you get them pictures Mrs. 
Beebe sent after ? 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 9 

JosiAH. Blast it ! I forgot the name of one of 'em an' 
'tother one I couldn't find novvheres. 

Nancy. How disappinted she'll be ! You're sure you got 
the name right ? 

JosiAH. Land, yes ! I asked for Minervy at the Pump 
ev'ry time. 

Nancy. Josiah Potter ! It was the Goddess Minerva and 
Rebekah at the Well that she wanted. That's the rnan of it ! 

Mrs. L. What a bother it is to do errands for other folks. 
I've stopped it — I won't be bothered in that way any more. 
No great things happened to ye while ye's in the city ? 

JosiAH. Nothin' serious. (^Laughs.') Guess I'll have to 
give ye Nancy's experience. Ye see we got separated one day 
while we's goin' 'bout the city and couldn't find each other 
nowheres. When it got to be dinner time Nancy, not bein' 
used to them funny kind of doors, goes in behind 'em and asks 
for somethin' to eat. She says she got a good square meal, 
but it wouldn't do to let the folks at home get wind of it 'cause 
she'd never hear the last of her eatin' dinner in a saloon. 

Nancy. I went in there 'cause it said a good dinner for 
twenty-five cents. 'Twan't no worse than for you to be hustled 
off to the perlice station, Josiah. 

Mrs. L. How's that? 

Nancy. Well, you see Josiah kept looking for me in all 
the stores and peekin' into the women's faces till they 'rested 
him as a 'spicious character. 

Josiah. Nothin' serious happened to us, though. We found 
each other 'fore dark. It's queer how they run some things in 
the city. A gal in one of the stores asked me if I didn't want 
a hand satchel for my wife. I was lookin' on 'em over. Says 
I, why, yes, I reckon she'd like one fustrate. I thanked her as 
perlite as I knew how and started off with it. I hadn't got to 
the door 'fore somebody grabbed me by the collar an' 'cused 
me of steahn' it. I s'posed that was one of them days they was 
givin' thmgs a\vay like ye read 'bout in the paper. Right after 
that I stepped on a woman's dress an' tore off 'bout two yards 
of rufflin'. It didn't make her look very happy. I couldn't 
hear jest what she said, but 'twas somethin' 'bout an old goose. 

Nancy. Why, Josiah Potter ! How awful you acted. 

Josiah. There's one thing I didn't do. It said on one of 
them big store winders : " Come in an' have a fit." I hur- 
ried right by. I've never had a fit yet an' I ain't a goin' to if 
I can help it. Oh, Nancy, I most forgot that I bought a pres- 



10 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

ent for ye. They was sellin' jewelry awful cheap in one of 
the stores, most givin' it away, so I bought ye some earrings. 
The fellow said they had diamonds in 'em. 

Nancy. How much did ye pay for 'em? 

JosiAH. Two dollars. 

Nancy (examining them). Josiah Potter I They ain't 
worth two cents. You jest throwed that money away. You 
made a big fool of yourself that time, Josiah. 

Josiah. It beats all how many fools there be in the world, 
then, for most ev'rybody was buyin' 'em. 

Nancy. But there ain't any holes in my ears; they growed 
up long ago. 

{Sound of arriving train. ^ 

Josiah. That's our train. {Picks up bundles. Depot 
Master calls train.') 

Nancy {to Mrs. L.). If you ever get anywhere near 
Pottersville come an' see us. 

Mrs, L. I surely will. \_Exeimt Josiah and Nancy. 

Enter passengers. Among them are Mr. Armstrong and five 
children. Two little girls are Jiajiging to his coat crying, 
a baby is in his arms, and two boys are fighting over a 
bag of peanuts. Mr. Armstrong buys his ticket and sits 
down. 

Mr. Armstrong. Boys, stop your fighting. 

Peter. If Thomas Jeiferson don't let me have some pea- 
nuts I'll bust his head open. {Girls cry louder.) 

Mr. a. Stop your crying, girls, or you will wake Na- 
thaniel up. 

Sarah {slapping her father'' s ami). I don't want to go to 
Aunt Mary's. She's cross. 

Mr. a. All right, we'll leave you here in the depot. 

Sarah. I don't want to stay here, either. 

Mr. a. Peter, if you don't behave I'll lick you. Give me 
that bag of peanuts. 

Peter. There ain't any peanuts it it. Thomas Jefferson 
et 'em all up. 

Mr. a. Shame on you, Thomas. Don't let me hear any- 
thing more from either of you until the train comes. Oh, the 
trials of a widower with five children ! 

Miss P. You have quite a charge, I perceive. 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT II 

Mr. a. Indeed I have, madam. I've had it ever since 
Matilda was laid away under the sod. 

Miss P. {sighing). Misery likes company. 

Mr. a. Are you in trouble, madam ? 

Miss P. Indeed I am, sir. You wouldn't mind having 
another child to look after, would you? (Peter turns a 
somersault. ) 

Mr. a. Peter, behave. {To Miss P.) Not if the child 
was old enough to look after these little ones. 

Miss P. But it's not. It's only a baby. 

Mr. a. Madam, you are not trying to dispose of your own 
child, are you ? 

Miss P. I haven't any child, sir. I am Miss Sophia 
Piper. 

Mr. a. Perhaps it is a nephew that you have charge of. 

Miss P. I don't know who it is, nor what it is, nor how old 
it is, nor nothing about it. Its mother went off after another 
child and left it here and it don't look as if she was ever 
coming back after it. 

Mr. a. You have my sympathy, Miss Piper. 

Miss P. And you have mine. Mister 

Mr. a. Armstrong. 

Miss P. {aside). Oh, how supporting the name sounds. 

Mr. a. I cannot tell you how I appreciate your sympathy. 
A few moments ago I was discouraged, lonely and miserable, 
but my heart is lighter now. 

Miss P. I'm so glad to be of any use to you — to any one,, 

Enter Woman leading little boy. Approaches Miss P. 

Woman. Oh, how good you have been to keep ray baby. 
Thanks ever so much. {Takes baby.) It took me the longest 
time to find Harry. I'm so much obliged to you, indeed I 
am. \_Exeunt Woman, baby, and little boy. 

Mr. a. Now you will be out of misery, I suppose. 

Miss P. Really, I shall miss the little fellow for I was 
getting quite attached to him. Shan't I hold your baby 
awhile ? 

Mr. a. You are very kind, but I wouldn't like to burden 
you with him. He is quite heavy. 

Miss P. It wouldn't be a burden at all. I shall quite enjoy 
it. {Takes baby.) 

Mr. a. How charming and congenial some people are. 



12 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

Miss P. (aside). I'm so glad he thinks so. 

Mr. a. Our train is due in just one hour but I wish it 
might be an hour late fpr the time is passing so pleasantly. 
Kindred spirits, you know. 

Betty. Pa, what's kindred spirits? 

Mr. a. Be quiet, Betty. 

Miss P. I feel the same way. 

Mr. a. I judge that you, too, are lonely at times. 

Miss P. Very lonely, indeed. 

Mr. a. Have you never longed for a pleasant home and 
some one to protect you ? 

Miss P. So often, oh, so often. Such a life would be so 
delightful, I'm sure. 

Mr. a. Matilda was a very happy woman. I protected 
her as long as I could, poor thing, and now I am protecting 
her children. It's pretty up-hill business. — Don't slap me so, 
Sarah — I feel at times that I ought to have help about it. 

Miss P. You surely had, Mr. Armstrong. I think two 
could manage these children better than one. 

Mr. a. My dear Miss Piper, you are so good. Will you 
not be the one to help me ? 

Miss P. Oh, this is so sudden, Mr. Armstrong. I — well, 
really I 

Mr. a. I pray you won't say me nay, for my happiness 
depends upon your answer. 

Miss P. Really, Mr. Armstrong, you have drawn so upon 
my sympathies that I cannot say no. 

Mr. a. Oh, my dear Sophia, how bright life seems to me. 
I feel now that I can bear any and every trial. Mountains 
seem like mole hills. 

Betty. Pa, what's a mole hill? 

Mr. a. Keep quiet, Betty. {To Miss P.) There'll be. 
time to hunt up a parson and be married right away. Shall 
we not unite our hearts, our hopes, our aims at once, dear 
Sophia ? 

Miss P. {aside). The sooner the better. {To Mr. A.) 
I'm ready. 

Mr. a. Come, my precious children, your father is going 
to be made very happy. 

Peter. Be you goin' to a circus ? 
Thomas J. Can we have some more peanuts ? 
Mr. a. The very first thing I shall do will be to buy a 
whole bag for each of you. \_Exeunt at street entrance. 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT I3 

Enter at same entrance three girls from the city talking 
and laughing. Sound of arriving train. Enter passen- 
gers, including two Italians, Dude, and Mr. and Mrs. 
Martindale. 

Bess (^pointing to Dude). Look, look, girls, we're just in 
time to witness the grand arrival. Isn't he stunning? 

Dot. Loveliest of the lovely. Just wait till he sees us. 

Trix. Look, girls, he's changing his gloves. 

Bess. Such lily-white hands. 

Dot, He's mama's darling. 

Trix. And papa's little man. 

Bess. And aunty's pet. 

Bootblack {to Dude). Have a shine, yer honor? 

Dude {looking down at shoes'). These are patent leathers, 
don't yer know. 

{Takes mirror from pocket and adjusts cravat and twirls 
mustache.) 

Dot. Bess, go and ask the ticket agent for a bandbox to 
put him in. 

(Dude sees girls and walks over to them.) 

Dude. Handsome day, girls. 

Trix. Quite. 

Dude. Balmy breezes, don't yer knowo 

Dot. Rather too breezy for freshies, don't yer know. 
(Depot Master calls train.) Come on, girls, or we will miss 
our train. \_Exeunt girls. Sound of departing train. 

Bootblack {to Dude). Don't slip up, Mr. Slicky. 

[^Exit Dude at street entrance. 

(Mrs. Hummer, with basket of flowers^ rushes in panting 
for breath and red in the face.) 

Mrs. Hummer {to Agent), Give me a ticket for Pottsdam, 
quick. 

Agent. Madam, you're too late, your train is just pulling 
out. 

Mrs. H. {excitedly). Well, stop it then till I get on. {To 
Depot Master.) Here, mister, you holler at it to stop. I'll 
pay my fare on the train. 

Depot Master. Can't do it, madam. I'm sorry for you 
but you'll have to wait for a later train. 



14 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

Mrs. H. That train's gone too soon. If you'd ben 'tendin' 
your business I'd ben on it. I'm on my way to Cousin Jede- 
diah's funeral and 'Rastus run the horses most to death to get 
me here on time. I stepped over to Sally Tinker's back door 
jest 'fore we started to tell her I was goin' and to say good-bye, 
but I wan't there more'n two minutes. She made me eat a 
strawberry turnover but I most swallered it hull, I was that 
'fraid I'd be late. 

Depot Master. I guess your two minutes were twenty. 

Mrs. H. The idee ! I never even stopped to tell Sally 
what Cousin Jedediah died of. Sally showed me the stripe for 
her new rag carpet, an' a new kind of a sunbonnet pattern, 
an' a new-fangled machine for buggin' taters, but I merely shot 
a glance at 'em. She wanted me to taste of her strawberry 
jam but I jest shut my lips tight an' hurried away. I know 
I'd got the train all right if you hadn't let it start too soon. 

Depot Master. The train left just on time, madam. 

Mrs. H. I don't believe it, an' I ought to have a ticket for 
nothin' for gettin' left. When does the next train go ? 

Depot Master. In two hours. 

Mrs. H. I guess I'll telegraph to Polly Ann to put off the 
funeral till I get there. {To Agent.) I want to telegraph to 
Polly Ann. Supposin', mister, you write down what I've got 
to say. (Agent writes as Mrs. H. dictates.') Dear Polly 
Ann : The train started too soon an' I'm left. If Jedediah 
knew how bad I feel 'bout it he'd turn over in his coffin. I 
promised him years ago that I'd let nothin' keep me from 
'tendin' his funeral. The flowers I'm bringin' him will be all 
wilted but they prob'ly won't look any worse'n he does. I'm 
sending this telegram to tell ye to put off the funeral till I get 
there. It may be dark but the moon comes up early. If the 
preacher an' the singers hain't got there when you get this you 
better put off the funeral till to-morrow for I shall be so tired 
ridin' on the cars that I shan't be able to keep up under the 
grief. This ain't my handwritin' but it's from me jest the 
same. I'm tellin' a feller what to say. Good-bye. Your 
affectionate cousin, Amelia Hummer. 

Agent. Three dollars and seventy-five cents, madam. 

Mrs. H. Three dollars and seventy-five cents ! What do 
you mean ? Why I thought you could send a telegram for 
twenty-five cents. 

Agent. But you can only send ten words for twenty-five 
cents, and this message comes to three seventy-five, madamo 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 15 

Mrs. H. Well, I declare ! 'Rastus is always sayin' that 
talk's cheap but 1 shan't believe it any more. You can jest 
tear that up, mister, and put down : {Counting each word on 
her fingers.) The train started off too soon and I got left. 
{Pays him.') I wouldn't miss 'tendin' that funeral for ten dol- 
lars but when it comes to payin' three dollars and seventy-five 
cents for sayin' a few words on paper an' mebbe get cheated 
out of 'tendin' the funeral besides, I ain't agoin' to do it. I 
must hurry an' find 'Rastus so's to ride back with him. He 
was goin' to do some errands. {To Depot Master.) The 
next time I come I'll be here early an' see that you don't let 
the train start 'fore it's time. \_Exit. 

( The Italians sing or play some inusical instruments, pass 
the hat and exeunt.) 

Mrs. Martindale. I wish you'd see how late our train is, 
Harry. 

Mr. Martindale, You know already, for I asked just a 
few minutes ago. 

Mrs. M. What if you did ; ask again. 

Mr. M. Well, I will in a minute. 

Mrs. M. Put down your paper, Harry, and ask him now. 
Can't you be obliging for once? 

Mr. M. {aside). Some women are so fussy. 

Mrs. M. I wish you'd get me a glass of lemonade and just 
step outside and see what time it is by the depot clock. 

Mr. M. I can't do three things at once. 

Mrs. M. I didn't ask you to. You men are so stupid. 

Mr. M. Well, which shall I do first ? 

Mrs. M. See what time it is. No, I'm most choked, get 
the lemonade. {As Mr. M. starts <7^Mrs. M. calls him Imck.) 
You'd better look at the clock first for there might not be time 
to drmk the lemonade, but oh, dear, I'm most choked. 

Mr. M. It won't do to let you choke, Mamie, so I'll get 
the lemonade. (Mr. M. goes to the refreshment stand.) 

Mrs. L, {to Mrs. M.). What a kind husband you have. 

Mrs. M. Oh, he's kind in his way. Like all other men, I 
suppose — takes his own time for doing things. Oh, dear, I'm 
most choked. I wish he'd hurry up. 

Mrs. L. I wouldn't give a cent for lemonade that was made 
in a jiffy. You have to give the sugar a little time to dissolve. 

Mrs. M. 1 just expect the train will come and we'll be left. 
It takes Harry so long to do anything. He stops and talks too 



l6 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

long. (Mr. M. returns.) At last. {Takes glass and sips a 
little.') I can't drink this, Harry, it's too sweet. 

Mr. M. The man said it was first-class. 

Mrs. M. I can't help it if he did. It's too sweet and I can't 
drink it. 

Mr. M. Well, I can. {Drains glass.) 

Mrs. M. {to Mrs. L.). You can see what I have to endure. 
( To Mr. M.) Now bring me a glass of ice water and be quick 
about it for my throat is sor dry I can scarcely swallow. (Mr. 
M. goes for water.) 

Mrs. L. My husband never waits on me the way yours 
does on you. 

Mrs. M. I should hope not, for you'd have a hard time of 
it if he did. (Mr. M. bri?igs water. Mrs. M. takes glass), 
I wanted you to bring me a piece of ice in it. It probably 
would have melted, though, before you got here. {Dritiks.) 
Now see again what time it is and how long before the train'll 
be here. 

Mrs. L. I should think your husband would want to sit 
down and rest awhile. 

Mrs. M. Rest ! He wouldn't do anything but rest if I'd let 
him. He needs exercise to keep him healthy. My, I believe 
some lemonade would taste good if it was sweet. 

Mrs. L. I'll get it for you. Don't ask him again. 

Mrs. M. Thank you, but you needn't worry about Harry. 
He won't hurt himself. (Mr. M. returns.) 

Mr. M. The train will be here in thirty minutes. It's two- 
forty now. 

Mrs. M. I wish I had some chocolates. I'm dying for 
some. 

Mr. M. I suppose you'll have to have them then. {Starts 
off.) 

Mrs. M. {calling.) I want some more lemonade too, Harry. 

Mrs. L. You're making a slave of your husband, don't 
you know it? He'll wear out waiting on ye. 

Mrs. M. {laughing). A slave — wear out — what are you 
talking about ? 

Mrs. L. And you'll die sooner than you ought to if you 
don't stir yourself a little. 

(Mrs. M. looks disgusted and takes another seat. Mr. M. 
returns with ca?idy and lemonade, Mrs. M. eats a choco- 
late and sips lemonade.) 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT IJ 

Mrs. M. {shivering). Oh, Harry, it's so sour. You'll have 
to drink this glass, too. 

Mr. M. Give it to me then. {Takes glass and drinks.') 

Mrs. M. When we get home I'll make some lemonade 
that's right. Now move our baggage over here, Harry. That 
woman over there is just horrid and I won't sit by her any 
longer. 

Mr. M. There's no hurry about it. 

Mrs. M. But what if the train should come before we are 
ready ? 

Mr. M. Well, I'll move the things in a minute. 

Mrs. M. Bring them now, Harry. I can't rest till you do. 

Mr. M. And I suppose I can't either. {Moves baggage and 
starts off.) 

Mrs. M. Now don't go away again. 

Mr. M. I must have a cigar. 

Mrs. M. No you mustn't. You had one not long ago. 

Mr. M. I had one this morning but I suppose that will 
have to do. 

Mrs. M. Now sit down, hold this box in your lap and take 
hold of this grip so you'll be ready to start the minute the train 
comes. And here's my wrap and umbrella. Where's the box 
with my new hat in it ? I do believe you are sitting on it, 
Harry. 

Mr. M. No, it's on the floor right beside me. I can't for- 
get it. 

Mrs. M, If you should I couldn't go to the opera to-mor- 
row night. Are you sure you won't forget it, Harry ? 

Mr. M. If I do it won't be your fault. {Sound of arriv- 
ing train. Depot Master calls train.) 

Mrs. M. Oh, dear, I'm so afraid we'll leave something. 
{Takes hold of his arm.) [^Exeunt. 

Enter two or three passengers who walk throzigh the 
waiting room and exeunt at street entrance. At same 
entrance enter Bride and Groom, arm in arm. Groom 
seats Bride and goes to ticket office. 

Groom. Do you make special rates to brides and grooms ? 
Agent. No, sir. 

Groom. What's the fare to New York for two ? 
Agent. Thirty dollars. 

Groom. Gee whiz ! It costs to take a weddin' tower, don't 
it? Guess we won't go further'n Albany. Ain't my wife 



18 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

handsome? That's her over there. We's married about two 
hours ago and drove hke Jehu to get here. You see we live 
about five miles out in the country. Be you married and did 
you take a tower ? 

Agent. Do you want two tickets for Albany? 

Groom. Why, yes, I guess we might as well. We've 
started for somewhere and I don't know's it makes much dif- 
ference where, just so the money holds out. 

{Lays doivn money and takes tickets. Sits down by Bride 
and shells peanuts for her. She leans her head on his 
shoulder and eats them.') 

Bride. Didn't we fool 'em slick, though, gettin' away? 

Groom. Fine, couldn't have been slicker. Rob and Dick 
said we couldn't get away without their knowin' it, but we 
give'm the slip all right. 

Enter Rosy, Molly, Rob, and Dick at street entrance. 
One of the girls points to Bride and Groom. They ad- 
vance to where they are sitting and take them unawares. 

Rob. Ha, ha, here you be havin' a cozy time all to your- 
self. 

Dick. You didn't get off so slick after all. You can't fool 
us. 

Rob. You'll have to treat, old boy, and the sooner the bet- 
ter. We'll look after the bride. 

Dick. Number one cigars for us and number one chocolates 
for the girls, remember. 

Groom (aside). Guess I'll have to change them tickets for 
Syracuse. I'm 'fraid the money won't hold out. (Groom goes 
to candy stand. Molly slyly fastens old shoes onto Bride 
and Groom's grip.) 

Rosy. When will you be home, Marthy ? 

Bride. We haven't set any time yet. Charley says when 
the money runs out. How did you know we's here ? 

Dick. Oh, we know everything. Didn't have a bit of 
trouble finding you. 

Rosy. Billy Brown told Belle Smith if you are gone very 
long you'll lose your place in the choir. 

Bride. It's none of Billy Brown's business if we are gone 
six weeks. He'd find he'd got a job on hand if he tried to 
put me out. 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT I9 

Rob. That's right, Marthy, and we'll stand by you. 

Dick. Billy's mad 'cause you didn't invite him to your 
weddin'. That's where the rub is. 

Molly. Mrs. Brown says she'll never come to see ye. She 
will, though. She asked me forty questions about the weddin' 
and said she was goin' over in the mornin' to see your ma 'bout 
the next sewin' society. 

Bride. Don't you worry, ma knows her. She won't find 
out anything. 

(Groom returns. They eat catidy and talk more about the 

wedding.') 

Rob. Well, we must be going. Sorry we can't stay and 
see you off. 

Dick. Hope you won't get to quarreling before your honey- 
moon is over. A heap of good luck to ye. 

\_All throw rice and exeunt with many good-byes. 

Groom (shaking off rice). Gee whiz ! How the stuff 
pricks a feller's neck. 

Bride. What a shame they found us. Nobody'd had any 
idee we're just married if it hadn't been for this rice. (Brushes 
rice off hat ; to Mrs. L.) You wouldn't knowed it, would 
ye ? 

Mrs. L. Oh, certainly not. I'm not quite sure of it yet. 

Groom (indignantly). You ain't ! Well, we be married. 
Here's the license right in my coat pocket. (Takes it 07it and 
shows it to her.) We ain't 'loping nor pretending to be what 
we ain't. We're goin' to Albany on the next train, ain't we, 
little wifey ? (^Puts his arm around Bride.) 

Bride (with a very sweet smile). Yes, husband. 

Groom. Be you convinced now, madam ? 

Mrs. L. Fully, sir, fully. 

Groom. If you ain't I'll send you a copy of the Brierville 
News. The preacher's goin' to write up the weddin' in fine 
shape, tellin' all about the weddin' clothes we had on, how 
many presents we got, what they was and who they's from. 
We're going to buy twenty-five copies to send to our 
friends. 

Mrs. L. Suppose you send me a copy anyway. (Depot 
Master calls train.) 

Groom. That's our train, Marthy. 

\They pick up baggage and exeunt. 



20 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

Enter man and two chllch-en at street entrance. Ma?i buys 
tickets and hands them to the girl. 

Father. Keep bub off the track and don't let him get into 
mischief. Don't forget your bundles. Your train goes at four 
o'clock. Good-bye. \Exit Father. 

(^Children take seats.') 

Mrs. L. Goin' somewhere, sissy? 

Cassy, Yessum, goin' to visit Aunt Maggie. 

Jupiter. I'm goin' too. 

Mrs. L. Of course you be, bubby. What's your name? 

Cassy. Hisn's Jupiter and mine's Cassiopea. They call 
us Cassy and Jupy for short. 

Mrs. L. Got any brothers or sisters? 

Cassy. A whole lot of 'em, (Bootblack listens to co?iver- 
satio?i.) 

Mrs. L. What's their names? 

Cassy. Pa named us all after the stars. Mars, he's four- 
teen — they don't nickname him. Mercury, he's twelve. 
When he's bad pa calls him a reg'lar blue pill. I'm eleven 
and Jupy's seven. The twins are ten. Their names is Regu- 
lus and Venus. We call 'em Gus and Veny. Saturn, he's five, 
Neptune's three and the baby's a year old. Pa said he was the 
best of the whole lot, so he named him Orion. 

Mrs. L. I guess your pa must be a pretty smart man and 
you children a lot of little shiners. Guess you had a bran' new 
dress made to go visitin' in, didn't you ? 

Cassy. Yessum, and a new sacque, too. Aunt Maggie 
wrote that white sacques was all the style for little girls, so ma 
made me one out of a flour sack and I.put the trimmin's on it 
myself. (Bootblack sings the first line of " Ihou Art so Like 
a Flower^' — addiiig the zvord sack.) Ma said if I didn't tell 
anybody folks would think it was bought at the store. The 
missionary society give me my hat. 

Mrs. L. (to Jupiter). Did they give you a hat, too ? 

Cassy. No, ma made one out of pa's for Jupy. It's plenty 
big enough for him, but ma says he'll grow to it. 

Mrs. L. I suppose you'll have a nice time while you are 
out to Aunt Maggie's. 

Cassy. Maybe, Aunt Maggie don't like children, but me 
an' Jupy are goin' to make her like us. Jupy's takin' her a 
mud-turtle and I'm takin' her a holder I made all myself. 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 21 

Jupiter. Don't you think she will like me when I give her 
the mud -turtle? 

Mrs. L, I'm sure she will, bubby. Do you go to Sunday- 
school ? 

Cassy. I do, but Jupy don't. He took bees once with him 
in a box an' they got out an' stung the superintendent right on 
the nose. He called Jupy a wicked little star an' said if he 
didn't do better he'd make him see a whole lot of stars. One 
other time he caught a mouse in a box an' took it to Miss Good- 
well. She's Jupy's Sunday-school teacher. Do you know 
her? She looks like you. 

Jupiter. She's awfully homely. 

Mrs. L. Well, what about the mouse? 

CassYo When Miss Goodwell opened the box she screamed 
awful, an' the next day the preacher called an' told ma to keep 
Jupy at home till he was a little older. But he's goin' again 
when we get home. 

Jupiter. You wouldn't scream at a mouse, would you? 

Mrs. L. No — yes — well, maybe not. 

Jupiter. Mice don't hurt folks. You jest ought to see 
Sirius eat 'em. 

Mrs. L. Whose Sirius ? 

Cassy. He's Jupy's dog. Pa named him after the dog- 
star. 

Mrs. L. How long be you goin' to stay at your Aunt Mag- 
gie's? 

Cassy. Ma said to stay till she sent us home. 

Mrs. L. What train be you goin' on ? 

Cassy. Pa said it was the four o'clock. 

Mrs. L. That's the one I'm goin' to take. I've been 
waitin' for it ever sence eight o'clock this morning. 

Cassy. Oh, my, you must have seen a lot of folks. 

Mrs. L. Yes I have, more'n I've seen in many a day. It's 
ben as good as a circus. 

Jupiter. I went to a circus once. I crawled in under the 
tent and I saw a boa- subtracter. Did you ever see one? 

Cassy. He means a boa-constrictor. 

Jupiter. Where do you live? 

Mrs. L. At Coffinbury. 

Jupiter. Do they bury coffins there ? 

Cassy. Don't ask so many questions, Jupy. 

Jupiter. Why not? Do they have mud-turtles an' fire- 
crackers an' little boys where you live ? 



22 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

Mrs. L. Lots of 'em, bubby. 

Jupiter. Have you got any? 

Mrs. L. There's plenty of mud-turtles around but I hain't 
any firecrackers or little boys. (Depot Master calls train.') 
There's our train. Stay close to me and I'll look after you. 

\_Exetmt. 

(Sound of departing train. No passengers left in depot. 
Enter College Quartette, at street entrance.) 

First Tenor. Well, boys, it looks as if we've got it to our- 
selves. 

Bass. For five minutes, perhaps. 

Second Tenor. Better try one or two of our songs, hadn't 
we? 

Baritone. We need to bad enough, and we'll have time, 
for our train is twenty minutes late. . 

Bass {to First Tenor). Buy our tickets first. 

First Tenor. All right. {Buys tickets.) Come on, boys, 
let's try our songs now. {They group themselves and sing two 
pieces.) 

Bass. It's too stuffy in here. Let's wait outside. 

Baritone. Our train must be most here by this time. 

\Exeunt. 

Enter Mr. White and Lily. They go to ticket window. 

Mr. White {to Agent). How is you? I'm Mr. White 
and this is Miss Lily. {She makes a sweeping bow.) We've 
come to meet Miss 'Lizah. How long 'fore de train'll be 
heah? 

Agent. Three minutes. 

Lily. What if 'Lizah don't come? 

Mr. W. Nevah you feah. 'Lizah won't miss de weddin'. 

Lily. She said she was goin' to wear her party dress to 
travel in so she'll look fine. 'Xpect you an' she'll be steppin' 
off next. 

Mr. W. 'Xpect we will. 'Lizah's an angel, shuah she is, 

{Sound of arriving train. Enter Eliza. She rushes into 
Lily's arms. They kiss. Mr. W. puts hand on heart 
and casts side glances at them.) 

Lily. You look fine, honey deah. Where did you get that 
lovely hat ? 



SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 23 

Eliza. At (JLocal milliner.') 

Etiter young colored man at street entrance. 

Mr. W. Hello, Gawge, how is you? {They shake hands. 
Mr. W. introduces his friend to Lily and Yaazp^.') 

George. Gwine to de weddin', I s'pose. 

Mr. W. Shuah, we'll all be dere. 

George. Gwine to have a big time, I heah. 

Mr. W. Shuah dey is. Brudder Samson an' Brudder 
Zion's gwine to do de jinin', Miss Lily's gwine to play de wed- 
din' march an' me an' 'Lizah's gwine to stan' up wid 'em. {Boy 
hands dispatch to Mr. W. Mr. W. reads aloud?) " Sick an' 
can't come. Am sendin' flowahs on de Numbah Foah." 
Guess we'd better wait for 'em, den dey'll be shuah to have 
'em. If you's in no hurry, Gawge, wait wid us. {All take 
seats.') 

Enter Harold and Flossie. 

Flossie. I hope we won't see any one we know. Do you 
think they'll find us, Harold? 

Harold. What if they do ? I'll protect you, Flossie. I'll 
fight for you. You sit down here while I buy our tickets. {To 
Agent.) Two tickets for Chicago. {Puts tickets in pocket 
and takes seat by Flossie. ) 

Flossie. Let's walk on the platform. I'm afraid papa and 
mama will be walking in on us. 

Harold. All right. {As Flossie rises her handkerchief 
drops to the floor.) [Exeunt. 

Lily. Dem's two runaways, shuah. 

Mr. W. Don't wonder he wants her. She's sweet's an 
angel. 

George. Hope de old folks won't find 'em. 

Enter Mr. and Mrs. Linton. 

Mrs. Linton {wringing her hands). Oh, William, do you 
think we'll find them? To think our Flossie should do such 
a thing. 

Mr. Linton. I'll teach that young upstart a thing or two 
once I lay hands on him. I'll see if the ticket agent knows 
anything about them. [To Agent.) Have you seen a pretty 
girl around here with a fellow that looks as if he didn't know 
much? (Mrs. L. walks the floor in great distress.) 



24 SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

Agent. A young fellow bought two tickets for Chicago 
for train Number Four. There was a young girl with him. 
Mr. L. Then give me two tickets for Chicago. 

(Harold and Flossie start to reenter, but on seemgM.R. and 
Mrs. L. they quickly draw back. Mrs. L. fiiids handker- 
chief and sees Flossie's name.') 

Mrs. L. Oh, William, here's Flossie's handkerchief. She's 
been here, but where do you suppose she is now? 

Mr. L. Don't worry. We'll soon find them. They bought 
tickets for Chicago and we'll follow them. 

Mrs. L. Foolish children ! Won't I give Flossie a scolding. 

{Sound of arriving train. Depot Master calls train. 
Exeunt Mr. and Mrs. L. and Mr. W. Mr. W, returns 
with box. A few passengers enter afid take seats. 

Mr. W. Dey come, you see. 'Xpect dey's mighty fine. 
Brudder Zion's on de way. I see him gettin' in de 'bus. We 
better take de flowahs right over. 

\_The two couples lock arms and exeunt. 

Enter Harold atid Flossie. 

Flossie. Where do you suppose they are by this time? 

Harold. I saw them getting on the train, Flossie, and that's 
why I backed out. 

Flossie. Oh, Harold, what if there should be a wreck ! 

Harold. Don't worry, Flossie. When they see we're not 
on they'll get off and take the next train back. 

Flossie. All right. It's getting late and I'm most starved. 
I won't ever elope again. \Exeunt. 

{A few passengers settle themselves for the night, arranging 
pillows out of bundles, wraps, etc. As soon as they are 
asleep a train arrives and College Quartette enters.) 

First Tenor. It's pretty late, boys, to be getting home. 
Bass {yawning). Shan't feel much like studying to-morrow. 
Baritone. I'm glad we haven't any engagements for to- 
morrow night. 

(First Tenor begins humming a good-night song, the others 
join in and they sing it through.) 

CURTAIN 



New Plays 



PLAIN PEOPLE 

A Comedy Drama in Four Acts 

By Dana J. Stevens 
Five males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
Plays a full evening. A strong and human piece full of humorous char- 
acter drawing and sympathetic interest. The cast is very even in oppor- 
tunity, and all the parts are good. A great play for a good club, and a 
sure winner. Strongly recommended. Free for amateur performance. 
Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Ezra Bromley, stoj'ekeeper. 
Almira Bromley, honsezvifo. 
Martin Jasper Bromley, college man. 
Liza Liz Hankins, brat. 
Judge Jotham Marley, Christian. 
Melissy Watkins, elderly maiden. 
Jonas ] KKi<.oc\L, fa7mer. 
Belindy Jarrock, sea?nstress. 
Hiram Curtis Peck, seller. 
April Blossom, help. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act L — Sitting-room behind Ezra Bromley's store. Morning. 

Act II.— The same. Some days later. 

Act III. — At the Jarrocks'. Some weeks later. 

Act IV. — At the Bromleys'. Later in the evening. 

FOOLING FATHER 

A Comedy in One Act 
By R. M. Robinson 
Three males. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays thirty 
minutes. A clever little play easily done and very effective. The boys 
arrange a little burglary just to show the old gentleman what heroes they 
are, but somehow things do not turn out right for the hero part. Can be 
recommended. Price, ij cents 

AT THE JUNCTION 

A Farce in One Act 

By Charles S. Bird., 
Three males, two females. Costumes, modern; scene, an easy interior. 
Plays thirty minutes. A bright and vivacious little farce for two young 
couples and a comic station agent, very easy and effective. All the parts 
are first rate, and that of the station agent is a corker. Can be strongly 
recommended. Price, 15 cents 



New Plays 



THE TIME OF HIS LIFE 
A Comedy in Three Acts 

By C. Leo?ia Dalrympk 
Six males, three females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors, 
or can be played in one. Plays two hours and a half. A side-splitting 
piece, full of action and a sure success if competently acted. Tom Car- 
ter's little joke of impersonating the colored iDutler has unexpected con- 
sequences that give him " the time of his life," Very highly recom- 
mended for High School performance. 

Price, 25 cejits 

CHARACTERS 

Mr. Bob Grey. 

Mrs. Bob Grey. 

Tom Carter, Mrs. Grefs brother. 

Mrs. Peter Wycombe, a " personage,** 

Mr. Peter Wycombe, a " pessimist " with a digestion, 

Dorothy Landon, secretly engaged to Tom Carter. 

Mr. James Landon, Sr., Dorothy'' s father ; of a peppery disposition. 

Uncle Tom, an old colored butler from the South. 

Officer Hog an, of the Twenty- Second Street Police Station. 

EETHER OR EYTHER 

A Farce in One Act 
By Robert C. F. Meyers 
Four males, four females. Costumes modern ; scene, an interior. Plays 
thirty minutes. A clever parlor play, similar in idea to the popular «' Ob- 
stinate Family." Sure to please. 

Price, 75 cents 

THE MORNING AFTER THE PLAY 

A Comedy in One Act 

By Willis Steell 
Two males, three females. Costumes modern ; scene, an interior. 
Plays twenty minutes. A.n easy piece of strong dramatic interest, orig- 
inally produced in Vaudeville by Christy Clifford, Free to amateurs f 
royalty required for professional performnnce. 
Price, 15 cents 



New College Plays 



THE COLLEGE BALL 

A Comedy in Four Acts ^ 

By Harry O. Osgood 
Seven males, five females. Costumes modern ; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two hours and a half. Written expressly for school and college per- 
formance, and strongly recommended for this purpose. Easy to stage, all 
the parts good, plot of strong and sympathetic interest, lots of good and 
characteristic incident — in short, just what is asked for for this purpose. 
A sure success. Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Tom Bradford ) „ . Kitty Peters, Ms daughter. 

TA A \ heritors. -^ wr 

Dick Adams j J:<rances Wing, 

Henry Carter \ Eleanor Bradford, Tom's aunt, 

Phil Patten |- Ju?iiors. Sally Prentiss. 

George Ropes J A Maid. 

Professor Peters. A Waiter. 

TWO STRIKES 

A Baseball Comedy in Two Acts 

By Thacher Howlaiid Guild 
Six males, one female. Costumes modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays 
an hour and a quarter. Originally produced by The Mask and Bauble 
Society of The University of Illinois, and highly recommended for similar 
uses. Very easy to produce, all the parts of nearly equal opportunity, 
dramatic interest unusually strong ; an unusually well written piece with 
excellent character drawing. Can be relied upon to please. Royalty of 
^5.00 for each performance payable to the author. 
Price, 2 J cents 

CHARACTERS 
Dean Thomas, Dean of under- Phil Hodge, a senior. 

graduates. Cap. Fosdick, of the teain. 

Artie, fiis student office-boy. Eben Spaulding, Laii s uncle, 
Lan Spaulding, of the baseball Helen Hodge, Phil s sister. 

AN EQUAL CHANCE 

A Sketch in One Act 

Two male characters. Scenery unimportant ; modern costumes. Plays 
twenty minutes. A bright little rapid fire piece for two light comedy 
men. Light but keenly and continuously amusing. Just the thing to have 
ready for extemporaneous performance, since it requires neither scenery 
nor properties, and can be done in any costume. 
Price, /J cents. 



Novelties 
HOW THE CLUB WAS FORMED 

An Entertainment in Three Scenes 

By Mrs. O. W. Gleason 

Author of "How the Story Grezv," *'J Modern 
Sewing Society,^'' etc. 

Eighteen females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant. Plays 
one and a lialf hours. A humorous skit on the Woman's Club suited for 
performance by eitlier young or middle-aged women. Full of points and 
chances for local hits and thus a sure laugh-maker. Parts well dis- 
txibuted; can be recommended. 

Price, ij cents 

A MOTHERS' MEETING 

An Entertainment in One Scene 

By Arlo Bates 

Author of "A Business Meeti?ig" "A Gentle Jury** "An 

Interrupted Proposal" "Her Deaf Ear " etc. 

Ten females. Costumes modern ; scenery unnecessary. Plays thirty 
minutes. A good-humored and amusing satire of this institution suited 
for performance by middle-aged as well as young ladies. Can be made 
very amusing by the introduction of local points, as in all such entertain- 
ments. All the parts are good and of nearly equal opportunity. Well 
recommended. 

Price, I J cents 

MAIDS OF ALL NATIONS 

An Entertainment in One Scene 

By Maude Burbank 

Author of "A Pan of Fudge" etc. 

Fifteen females, one male. Costumes of the nations; scene, the usual 
tableau arrangements. A pleasant variation of the " Bachelor's Reverie " 
introducing fifteen pretty girls in ilie costumes of as many nations. Plays 
thirty minutes. Recommended for its simplicity and picturesqueness. Its 
one male character may speak or not, as preferred, and may be played by 
a girl if desired. 

Price, ijj" cents 



New Entertainments 



OUR CHURCH FAIR 

A Farcical Entertainment in Two Acts 

By Jessie A. Kelley 
Twelve females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant. Plays ai, 
hour and a quarter. A humorous picture of the planning of the annuat 
church fair by the ladies of the sewing circle. Full of local hits and 
general human nature, and a sure laugh-producer in any community 
Can be recommended. 

Frice, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Mrs. Roberts, who wants to be Mrs. Lawson, plump. 

prestds::t. Mrs. Brown, anxious to get new 

Mrs. Henry, youngs giddy^ church attendants. 

fond, of novels. ^ "M.^?,. ADDnoN, very inquisitive, 

Mrs. Jackson, the president of Mrs. Ridgely, sensitive. 

the society. Mrs. Otis, on the dinner com^ 

Mrs. Brett, on the dinner com- mittee. 

mittee. Mrs. Thouvsou, decidedly clcse, 

Mrs. Lewis, the minister'' s wife. Mrs. DREv^iyjust married. 

THE RIVAL CHOIRS 

An Entertainment in One Scene 
By Sherman F. Johnson 
Seven males, four females. Costumes eccentric ; scenery unimportant. 
Plays one hour. A novelty in musical entertainments, introducing the 
old choir and the new in competition. A novel setting for a concert, 
offering an interesting contrast between the old music and the new. Lots 
of incidental fun, character and human nature. Sure to pease. Origi- 
nally produced in Meriden, Conn. 

Price, 25 cents 

A THIEF IN THE HOUSE 

A Comedy in One Act 

By R. M. Roiinson 
Six males, one playing a female character (colored). Costumes modern 
scenery, an interior. Play:i forty-hve minutes. A first-class play for maU 
characters only, of strong dramatic interest with plenty of comedy. A play 
that can be recommended, in spite of its lack of female characters, to any 
ludience. 

Price, 2^ cents 



New Plays 



A MASQUE OF CULTURE 

By Annie Eliot Trumbull 

Two male, ten female characters. Costumes, classical ; scenery, un- 
important. Plays about an hour and a half. A reprint of this clever and 
widely known satire. It deals with ladies and gentlemen well known in 
iiistorical society, and discusses thenr with abundant wit and humor. Con- 
facius and Socrates are summoned by Minerva to a convention of ladies^ 
equally well known to hterature, held in Boston. They return to the 
Shades and to Minerva with a depressing account of these ladies and their 
transactions. Ideally suited for the use of schools and ladies' clubs both 
by its subject and its admirable treatment. Can easily be played by 
,H"omen only if desired, and can be gotten up with very little trouble or 
cixpense. 

Price, 25 cents 

ROMANTIC MARY 

By Alice C. Thompson 

Pour males, four females. Three acts ; costumes modern ; scenery two 
easy interiors, or can be played in one. Plays two hours. A very pretty 
and effective piece, high in tone and very amusing. A haunted house 
and a very polite and considerate ghost contribute a pleasing mixture of 
humor and excitement to a very well-balanced cast of characters. All the 
parts good. An easy piece, well recommended, 
Price, ij cents 

A HOLE IN THE FENCE 

By Esther B. Tiffaiiy 

Four males, three females. Two acts ; costumes modern ; scenery, an 
exterior — a garden. Plays an hour. A farcical comedy of high class, 
very amusing and not difficult. Irish, Negro and Swedish comedy char- 
acter, ; all the parts effective. Can be strongly recommended to the best 
taste. 

Price, 25 cents 

THE UNDOING OF JOB 

By John Stone 

Three males, four females. Three acts ; costumes modern ; scenery, 
a single interior. Plays an hour and a quarter. An amusing comedy 
with a small but well-balanced cast, high in tone, and strongly recom- 
mended for drawing-room performance, as it is easy and effective and can 
be produced under the simplest conditions. Professional actiiig rights 
reserved. Price ^ 25 cents 



New Plays 



OUR WIVES 

A Farce in Three Acts 
By Anthony E. Wills 

Seven males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
Plays two hours and a lialf. A bustling, up-to-date farce that deserves the 
rather worn description of " side-splitting." Full of movement and action ; 
-all tlie parts good and effective ; easy to produce ; just the thing for an ex- 
perienced amateur club and hard to spoil, even in the hands of less prac- 
tical players. Free for amateur performance. 
Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

RoswELL Chandler, a retired mere hajit. (Old Man.) 

Walter Blair, his son-in-law. (Comedy Lead.) 

Oscar Siebel, a composer. (German.) 

Lloyd Deveaux, a chronic invalid. (Character Old Man.) 

John Stanton, a detective. (Comedy.) 

Mallory, a reporter. (Comedy.) 

Ford, an expressmaJi. (Utility.) 

GiLDA Deveaux, wife of Deveat/x. (Lead.) 

Mrs. Chandler, ivife of Rosivell. (Old Lady.) 

Beattie Blair, wife of Walter. (Straight.) 

Julia, a French maid. (French.) 

THE PACKING OF THE HOME MIS- 
SIONARY BARREL 

An Entertainment in One Scene 
By Mrs. Henry A. Hallock 

Ten females. Costumes, modern ; scenery unimportant. Plays thirty 
minutes. One of those little satires of feminine ways that are so popular 
even with the ladies; very shrewd and effective, but perfectly good-na- 
tured. An assured success and very easy to get up. Strongly recom- 
mended. 

Price, ij cents 

THE BARGAIN COUNTER 

A Farce in Three Scenes 
By Grace Moody 
Five females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays thirty 
minutes. A bright little piece satirizing that institution so dear to the fem- 
inine heart — "the bargain counter." Full of good-natured fun; can be 
recommended. 

Price, I J cents 



New Plays 
COUSIN KATE 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Hubert Hetiry Davies 

Three males, four females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two easy in- 
teriors. Plays two hours and a half. One ol the most delightful comedies 
of recent years, made widely and favorably known through tlie admirable 
performance of the leading role by Miss Ethel Barrymore. The inimitable 
spirit with which the scenes between JVliss Barrymore and Mr. Bruce 
IVIc Crae were played returns inevitably to haunt the imaginative reader 
of the lines of this play. Sold for reading only; acting rights strictly re- 
served. 

Price, ^O cents 

CHARACTERS 
Heath Desmond, a7t artist. Mrs. Spencer, a widow. 
Rev. James Bartlett, a Amy Spencer, her daughter. 

clergyman. Jane, a servant. 

Bobby Spencer, a ^f/^i^^/i^^/. Co\JSl^ii Kate. Cuktis, a novelist. 



MRS. GORRINGE'S NECKLACE 

A Play in Four Acts 

By Hubert Henry Davies 

Five males, five females. Costumes modern ; scenery, a single interior. 
Plays two hours and a half An admirable play of strong dramatic interest 
presenting a cast of characters imagined, drawn and contrasted with un- 
usual skill and effect. The piece is well known in the United States 
through the memorable performance of the leading lady character by Miss 
Mary Moore supporting Mr. Charles Wyndham. To such as remember 
that admirable performance of an admirable play, the reading of the text 
will be full of reminiscent pleasure. Sold for reading only ; acting rights 
strictly reserved. 

Price, ^o cents 

CHARACTERS 

Capt. Mowbray, retired. Mrs. Jardine. 

Col. Jardine, retired. Isabel Kirke ) her 

Lieut. David Cairn. Vicky Jardine j daughters^ 

Mr. Jernigan, a detective in- Miss Potts. 

specter. Mrs. Gorringe. 
Charles, a footman. 






THF MAfilSTRATF ^*'"<'® ^^ Three Acts. Twelve males, four 
kUli lUAUlJilXAlt. fejnales. Costumes, modem; sceiery, all 
interior. Plays two hours and a half. 

THE NOIORIODS MBS. EBBSMITR ^,:y°i;;,,'r,Ll;". 

Costumes, modern ; scenery, all interiors PI; ys a full evening. 

THF PRftFI IfiATF 1*1*7 in Four Acts, oeven males, five females. 
HH4 1 V1L( U ll( g(jgjiejy^ three interiors, rather elaborate; 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE SCHOOLMISTRESS rr."Tltrd::fr.T. 

three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

TOE SECOND MRS. TANQDERAY ^S:V;."ii. "?': 

tumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

SWFFT I AYFNDFR ^•^™®*ly ^^ Three Acts. Seven males, four 
Dvliljl Lt ? ViMfU females. Scene, a single interior ; costumes , 
modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIIHFS ^<''^®<ly ™ Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays a 
full evening. 

THF WFAKFR SFX comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, eight 
lUC TTCAHI^II J£A fgjjjj^igg Costumes, modern; scenery, two 

interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITBODT A SMILE Z^l^.'^Z.^Z.^X 

modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by- 
Walter 1$. iBafeer S, Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




017 401 09 

Ci)e William 5^arren cmtran 
of Paps 



AS Yflll I I¥F IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
AJ ivi) LfllVtf II females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

CAIHII I F •^''"*™* ^^ Five Acts. Nine malesLflve females. Cos 



tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

Play in Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 



IWAWY STUART Tragedy in rive Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
ITlAiyi OtiJiini males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE ^^l^^^^^^ S.*.?::; 

ipicturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

RICH FT IFII Play in Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 
I\lVlU(L<il4V ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 
evening. 

THF RIVAT S comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, iive females. 
1 UL) Al T ALiJ Scenei-y varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 
full evening. 

^HF STftftPS TO fANAIIFR Comedy in Five Acts. Fifteen 
OIIE OlVUr.3 IV VUnyUCn males, four females. Scenery va- 
ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL iX'^ei^ma^Js! 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

3^alter 1^. 'Bafeer S, Compani? 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 

• . 4. PAnHHIkk ik aO., PRIIMTCna, boston. U.S.A. 



